6 Things I’ll Never Do Again When Dating (From a Dating Coach Who’s Learned the Hard Way)

I’ll be honest with you:
Most women come to work with me because they’re exactly where I’ve been.
They’re smart, successful, independent — and so ready to meet their person, but no matter what they do, it feels like they’re stuck in the same frustrating loop.

And I get it, deeply.
Not because I’m looking down from some perfect relationship pedestal, but because I’ve walked this path. I’ve done the inner work, supported hundreds of women to attract emotionally connected, high-quality relationships, and I’ve seen firsthand what actually works — and what absolutely does not.

Right now, I’m walking this journey with you — and I know exactly what to avoid when it comes to attracting an aligned, emotionally available partner.

So, if you’ve ever wondered what a dating coach like me would absolutely never do while dating, let me save you some time (and some heartache).

Here are 6 things I’ll never do again when dating and searching for my ideal partner:

1️⃣ Rely on Endless Affirmations and Sit Around Waiting

Listen, I love a good affirmation. I even teach my clients how to use them properly. But writing hundreds of "He is on his way to me" lines in your journal without taking aligned action?
That’s just magical thinking with no grounding in reality.

Manifestation isn’t just about wishing — it’s about becoming the woman who is aligned with what she desires. Sitting around waiting for love to knock on your door while you affirm your way through your journal skips the real inner and outer work that creates results.

The truth is, attraction is an active energy.
You need to be in motion. Meeting people, expanding your social circles, saying yes to new experiences, and becoming magnetic from the inside out. No amount of affirmations will replace embodied action.

2️⃣ Ignore My Relationship Patterns and Hope They Magically Disappear

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, "This time will be different," but haven’t actually explored why you keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners, listen up.

Our patterns don’t just disappear because we wish them away.
They follow us until we do the deeper healing work.

I’ve seen this so many times in my own journey and in my clients' lives. The past has a way of sneaking into our present until we turn around, face it, and truly understand the lessons it holds.

Ignoring your patterns is like trying to bake a new cake with the same old ingredients. If you want a different result, you need to change the recipe.

3️⃣ Focus Only on Attraction

I cannot stress this enough: attraction alone is not the foundation for a healthy relationship.

Don’t get me wrong — chemistry matters. But chemistry without compatibility is a recipe for repeating the same old cycles. I've learned that initial attraction can sometimes be a signal of familiar (and not always healthy) dynamics from the past.

Instead, I focus on emotional safety, shared values, and genuine compatibility. These are the ingredients that lead to a love that lasts, not just a spark that fizzles out after the initial excitement fades.

When you only chase chemistry, you end up chasing the high — and missing the deeper connection.

4️⃣ Complain About Men or Hold Limiting Beliefs About Dating

We’ve all been there: the group chat full of "ugh, men are the worst" texts, the moments of spiraling into scarcity, thinking "Are there even any good men left?"

But here’s what I know for sure — complaining about men (even if it feels like harmless venting) reinforces limiting beliefs that keep the right men at a distance.

When you carry the belief that all the good ones are taken, or that dating is just hard, you subconsciously filter your experiences through that lens.
Your energy impacts how you show up, and the quality of people you attract.

Instead, I choose to stay rooted in abundance. I remind myself daily: good, emotionally available men exist — and I’m open to seeing them.

5️⃣ Withhold Honest, Vulnerable Communication

Gone are the days of playing it cool, waiting for the other person to make the first vulnerable move, or hiding my true feelings because I don’t want to seem "too much."

If I’ve learned anything, it’s that authentic, honest communication is magnetic.

Pretending to be unbothered, mysterious, or emotionally unavailable yourself only delays meaningful connection. Vulnerability may feel risky, but it’s the gateway to deep, lasting intimacy.

When you show up as your real self, you naturally filter out the wrong people and make space for the right one to meet you in that openness.

6️⃣ Accept a “Netflix and Chill” First Date

Nope. Absolutely not.

I won’t entertain a first date that doesn’t reflect effort, intention, and respect. An at-home date as a first impression signals convenience over genuine interest — and I hold my standards higher than that.

The early stages of dating set the tone for the relationship.
How someone shows up at the beginning reflects their level of investment. I value experiences that feel special, intentional, and aligned with my self-worth.

And let’s be honest, you deserve that too.

Dating Can Be Empowering (When You Know What to Avoid)

Dating doesn’t have to feel like a confusing guessing game or an exhausting cycle of disappointment. When you avoid these common traps, you create space for clarity, alignment, and real connection.

If you’re ready to overcome relationship anxiety, shift your patterns, and finally attract the emotionally connected partnership you’ve been craving — I’d love to guide you there.

Inside my signature mentorship, Radiant Relationship Academy, I teach you exactly how to date with confidence, heal old patterns, and open yourself to deeply fulfilling love.

Because the love you desire is not only possible — it’s waiting for you to rise and claim it.